The Skin Tells a Story I Don't Recognize

I looked at my leg today. Just sitting there, in a certain position, and there it was: that old crinkle skin. The kind you can't do anything about.

Unless.

Unless you add more weight.

But here's where it gets interesting. We've been so thoroughly brainwashed that "more weight" automatically means "fat" - something to be avoided, fought against, ashamed of. Even my mother, at 89, is still worried about "putting on weight" when what she desperately needs is more flesh on her bones.

Think about that for a second. An 89-year-old woman, still trapped in the programming. Still believing less is better, even when her body is clearly asking for more.

The Protein Paradox

I'm 68, and I'm just now figuring out that building muscle isn't just about pumping weights. It takes protein. More protein than I'm currently eating. Maybe even protein shakes, which feels like admitting something I'm not quite ready to admit.

My current diet? Toast and jam in the morning. Toast with ham, tomato, or egg for lunch. Dinner with protein, salad, and maybe potato, rice, or pasta. I use vitamin gummies as dessert. That's it.

Oh, and I discovered at 58 that I'm lactose intolerant. So the simple pleasure of milk chocolate is now a negotiation with dark chocolate (edible, but let's be honest - yech). Want cookies? Cake? Anything with dairy? I need a lactose tablet, and even then, there's a limit. Your bucket can only take so much before it's full.

The Disconnect

But here's the real thing I'm wrestling with: it's all in the head.

Every time I see my skin, I think "WTH... what happened?" Because inside, I'm not 68. My mind is still about 20 years back. I cannot relate my age with my mind. They're living in two different timelines.

I know I'm slowing down. I've gone from Jane Fonda workouts to Pilates, which I absolutely love. But muscle building? That's going to take another level of exercise and discipline that I'm not sure I'm ready for.

Yet I need it. My body needs it. The crinkly skin is telling me so.

What This Blog Is About

I want to document this journey - aging without the brainwashing. Questioning everything we've been told about getting older, about weight, about what our bodies need versus what we've been programmed to think they should need.

Some posts will be like this - raw, in-the-moment reflections when I catch sight of my arm and have an existential moment. Others will dig deeper into specific topics: the actual science of protein needs as we age, why the "eat less, weigh less" messaging might be actively harming us, what it means to inhabit a timeless mind in a very clearly timed body.

I'm calling this The Timeless Mind, The Timed Body because that's exactly what it feels like. I haven't aged inside. But my body? My body is keeping very different time.

And I think it's time we talked honestly about that gap.

What's your experience? Do you feel younger inside than your body suggests? I'd love to hear about your own disconnect in the comments.