I Stopped Fighting for 2 Months (and My Body Started Winning)

Two months ago, I stopped using my oils.

I don't even remember why. Life happens, routines slip, and suddenly the marula oil - the Kalahari oil that I'd been using religiously - was just sitting there. Unused. While my skin quietly returned to what it apparently wants to be: dry. Crone-like. Done.

The Body's Instinct Is to Quit

Here's what I've learned: your aging body has an agenda. It wants to dry out. It wants to thin. It wants to crinkle and crease and whisper "we're finished here, you're an old crone now, let's just accept this."

And when you stop actively resisting? The body wins remarkably fast.

I can feel it - that loss of fullness. The moisture that used to be there, gone. The skin that felt supple and alive now feels like it's giving up, one cell at a time. It's not dramatic. It's insidious. You don't wake up one day looking like a raisin. You just notice, bit by bit, that the plumpness is leaving. The vitality is draining.

The dryness isn't just surface-level. It's deeper. Like my skin is slowly resigning itself to being old.

The Oils Were My Resistance

When I was using the marula oil consistently, it was different. There was fullness. Moisture that went beyond just "not dry" - it was like my skin remembered it was still alive, still worthy of attention, still capable of looking and feeling good.

The oil wasn't just moisturizer. It was a daily act of resistance. Every time I massaged it into my skin, I was telling my body: Not yet. We're not done. You don't get to just dry up and quit.

Getting Back to the Fight

My oils arrive next week.

I'm desperate for them. Desperate to get that fullness back, that feeling that I'm not slowly mummifying. I want to feel the difference again - to know that this isn't just vanity or denial, but actual care. Actual maintenance of this timed body that the timeless mind still inhabits.

When they arrive, I'm going to document it. What happens when I start using them again? How long does it take to get that fullness back? What does my skin feel like after a week? Two weeks? A month?

This is part of the journey - figuring out what actually works to care for an aging body, and being honest about what happens when we stop caring.

Part 2 of this post will come once I'm back on the oils and can record the actual experience of return. Stay tuned.

Do you use oils? What's your relationship with caring for aging skin? I'd love to hear what you do - or what you've stopped doing.